Anonymous at 19:58:59 on 08/08:

Text meant for T-Bag, and it will be long so others can just scroll through :P

Glad to hear that and you are welcome. :)

I have done the same to other people before, commented on their profile. I know it is not my business but I just want to help out and correct obvious mistakes. Some have gotten angry with me, others have thanked me. :D I guess I’m a little bit of a grammar nazi. More in my native tongue but also in English when I see mistakes.

I know I should send you privately ingame but I do not play anymore since I died, had to have the original text copied for me with someone else’s account.

This was harder than I thought though but a promise is a promise. No backstabbing here. :P
I have holiday from work anyway and its only raining, raining and raining. Plenty of free time to do stuff like this. :)

And, as I wrote, English is but my third language so I cannot guarantee it is 100% correct. But this is the way I would write it.

Omerta is like a game of chess
Some people are like the bishop, crossing the board, avoiding danger.
But we all know the life span of the bishop.
Some people are like the knight. They just take two steps forward and one to the side
never heading straight.
Some people are like the rook. What do they do? Just going back and forth, that’s all they know. Unfortunately, they won’t live long either.
What’s my role in the game? I don’t have a matching piece. Because I am the Grandmaster.

Your original text can be interpreted in several different ways. That’s why I have made a few different versions. I did not, however, get the flow in it as I wanted. My English skills are just not good enough.

Anyway here are the different options and my explanations. The explanations are not there because I think you are an idiot but because I find this quite fun now. I enjoy writing. I should be a writer. :D

First line:
1. Omerta is like a game of chess.
2. Omerta is like a chess game

The first option sound better in my ears, but they both mean pretty much the same thing. The second option is like the original, I just added an “a”.

Second line:
1. Some people are like the bishop. Making cross moves to pass near of danger.
2. Some people are like the bishop. Making crossings along the board, avoiding danger.
3. Some people are like the bishop. Making cross moves to avoid danger.
4. Some people are like the bishop, crossing the board, passing on the danger.
5. Some people are like the bishop, crossing the board, avoiding danger.

In English the piece is called “bishop”, not elephant (“fil”). This one is trickier. The original line can be interpreted in several different ways. I see it as if they are avoiding danger because they are afraid. Just running around here and there. Jumping from family to family avoiding wars. The first option is closest to the original text, I just changed the grammar a little. The other options mean pretty much the same thing, just different ways of saying it. I hope I got the meaning right.

Third line:
1. But we all know the life span of the bishop (in chess).
2. But we all know the bishop’s life span (in chess).

Both options mean pretty much the same thing, just different ways of saying it. You don’t need to write “in chess”. But you can if you want to. Although it sounds better, in my ears, if you don’t. I would use the same option as you use for the first line.

Fourth line:
1. Some people are like the knight. They (just) take two steps forward and one to the side
2. Some people are like the knight. They (just) take two steps forward and one to the right or left

The piece is called knight in “English”, not horse (“at”). You used the word “just” in the original text but in my opinion you can skip it. It changes the meaning a little (to leave out the word “just”) but with the next line in mind I believe it sounds better without “just”. The second option is closer to your text but the first option sounds better in my opinion. And I do know the knight doesn’t only go forward but also backwards, but to write “…two steps forward or backwards and one to…” doesn’t sounds good. No flow in that. You can however put it in there if you want.

Fifth line:
1. never standing straight.
2. never heading/going straight.

I do not fully understand what you meant by the original line, it doesn’t make much sense, which makes this one a little tricky. But perhaps the meaning was that people who play as knights never follow their path and never follow through. They change plans, take new playing styles, give up etc.? I tried to use the same words as you and this is what I came up with. I hope I understood it correctly. This line is changed quite a lot compared to the original and perhaps you don't like that at all.

Sixth line:
1a. Some people are like the rook. What do they do? Going forward and backward all the time. They do not know anything else.
2a. Some people are like the rook. What do they do? Just going back and forth, that’s all they know.

1b. Unfortunately, their life span is not so long either.
2b. Unfortunately, neither they will live long.

It is called rook in English, not castle (“kale”). These options means pretty much the same thing, just different ways of saying it. 1a is closer to the original text but I think the 2a option sounds better.

Seventh line:
1. What’s my role in the game? I am not like any piece. Because I am the Grandmaster. (because I am the one who plays (is playing) the game.)
2. What’s my role in the game? I don’t have a matching piece because I am the one who plays (is playing) the game. (Because I am the Grandmaster)

The second option is like the original text but I like the first one more. Sound more badass to be the grandmaster than just the one playing. xD You can use both “plays” and “is playing”. They don’t really mean the same thing but almost. I prefer “plays” in this case thought, sounds better in my ears.

Dang it this is a long text. But no way I’m not posting it, or deleting some of it. Spent way too much time writing it to do that. :P
I don’t know if you get anything from it, might be a total mess, but I promised I would try to correct some of the grammar and so I did. :D
And you do not have to use any of it if you don’t want. Totally up to you. :)

If I made any mistakes, feel free to correct me.

Tbag at 22:19:21 on 07/08:

I do not take this in bad way, actually i am glad to see this kind of respectfully comments and advises. Since so much people getting lose their humanity here with full of unrespecful comments and insults. Thanks anyway o/